Coffee con leche

I've spoken about the vague things that happen across long periods of working at a coffee shop. Sometimes, many of those things culminate in a single morning to remind me of how annoying (in petty ways) people can be. Monday this week was one of those! None of these are major offenses, mind, but I just thought I'd show how ridiculous I can be.
1. Asking me "What's good today?"
Uh... the coffee? This might work at a restaurant where there are specials or catches of the day or whatever, but we have two coffees. Do you want one of those coffees? Do you want the one that I like? No, I don't know what the hell you mean. I suppose it's meant to be nice, but let's face it that there just aren't that many choices. The order wound up being a mocha. Surprise! And yeah, it's pretty much the same as it was yesterday and last week and when we first opened. It's a mocha. Then sure, it's good today.
2. Speaking Spanglish.
Children who learn two languages sometimes blend the two when they are looking for a word that doesn't come to mind immediately in the primary languages. Interesting stuff! When an English-speaking adult does it, though, it says "I don't speak Spanish very well." I can't really iterate what I find irritating about this, but maybe you too find the phrase "Over on the counter there they have uh... leche" grating as well.
3. Ignoring the children.
Left to their own devices, 2 year olds will yell, throw shit around, and injure themselves. Also, not responding to their "Mommy" cries will not eventually yield silence. They're gonna keep doing it. These two were throwing a cell phone to the ground, picking it back up, and throwing it again. It took a dozen of these gleeful tosses before anything was said, and even then it was a "Now, now..." kind of affair.
4. MAWDS (Middle-Aged Woman Dance Syndrome).
The quickest way to induce symptoms of this syndrome is to play the Beatles. Otherwise ordinary, whole-milk fearing ladies will gyrate casually, perhaps recalling a sock hop prior to when their first child was conceived. Together we can end MAWDS. Currently the only cure is playing unlistenable music, but a variety of sleeper holds have been found to incapacitate the suffering party until the offending song has passed.
5. Requiring a ludicrous number of vessels for baked goods.
A plate for each item and a bag for the remainder some time later. It's not that I'm all that particular about waste but... come on. You know, reduce your carbon footprint or some shit, I dunno.
6. Interrupting me while I'm answering a question.
I don't really care if I'm interrupted during inane chatter. I was asked what coffee we were serving, and I began, "It's a blend of the Sumatra with the-"
"OH! Sumatra! Hey, it's the Sumatra."

Perhaps it will not surprise you at this point to discover that all of these were from the same person.